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5 Things I Wish I Knew 10 Years Ago

Today is my 29th Birthday, and as I enter into the last year of my 20‘s I have been in deep reflection of what a massive journey it has been to get to the place I am now. Mentally, physically, spiritually, the person I am today has changed massively for the better; a bulk of that change being within the last 4 years. And I’ll tell you what, though I am grateful for every hardship I faced because it prompted me to find and actually use all the tools at my disposal to get better, I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like now had I had these same tools 10 years ago. Which is why I have chosen to share what I have learned with you in the hopes that you use this knowledge to find great success in your own life.

1. Life Gives Great Tests

When hardships are thrown your way, that isn’t God unjustly punishing you. It is God testing whether or not you are ready for your next phase in life. Every test you “fail” (or don’t show progress in) will be repeated until you are finally ready to move forward in progress. Some of the main study points for these tests include but are not limited to:

• How do you react to hardships? Do you sit in your negative emotions playing the blame game? Or do you problem solve to move forward?

• Do you take responsibility for your part in things? Hindsight is 20/20 and there are always ways you could have handled situations better, but are you able to release your pride enough to see it?

• Do you give yourself and others grace? People make mistakes. Are you able to forgive so that you can release the weight resentment brings and move forward with your life?

• Can you distinguish whether a situation is toxic, or if it’s you creating the toxicity? Sometimes YOU ARE the problem, but can you put your justifications and excuses aside long enough to see it?

Which leads us right into:

2. You Are Not A Victim Unless You Choose to Be

If you keep ending up in the same situation over and over again there is only one common denominator… YOU. Everyone has trauma to some extent, so don’t think others can’t tell if you are throwing your own pity party. They can and it is a huge turn off. One of the quickest ways to lose quality friends and stunt your life growth is playing the victim, ESPECIALLY around people who have squashed their own victimhood. People who have conquered their own trauma and refocused it into something better are the people you want to be around to inspire your own success. But if you are too busy being absorbed by your own hardships to release the mindset of “victim” you will lose the people actually capable of helping you and you will eventually lose sight of where you want to go. You’ll end up spending your life wasting your potential. How do I know this? Because not only have I watched it happen, but had I not woken up one morning and made the CHOICE to change my own life, that is the very future I would have faced. Stuck in the same patterns of unhealthy thinking, living, and manic depression. I was the problem so I was the one who needed to change.

3. You Get to Create Your Own Identity

Just to be clear, this does not mean pretending to be someone you are not. This is the major downfall of social media: You only see what others want you to see. So when you see your friend with that 9-5 job wearing a fancy watch and expensive clothes you think it means he is killing it in life, living it up, and happy. When in reality he is living rent free in his parents basement which is the only reason he could afford those things, hates his job and dreams of something different. But because of “clout” chasing, he’s stuck. D